He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize