The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize