Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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