I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize