Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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