chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize