Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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