I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
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Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
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how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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