I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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