Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize