I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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