just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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