i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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