Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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