I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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