hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize