I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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