At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
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Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
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Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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