at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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