My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize