my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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