i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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