Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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