I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize