i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
im six kinds of drunk right now
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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