he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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