i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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