its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Randomize