What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize