i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize