i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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