So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
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DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
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This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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