I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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