you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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