yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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