dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm way too hungover for life right now
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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