You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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