He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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