I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize