New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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