Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Randomize