My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
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I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
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Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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