So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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