and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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