Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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