so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
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Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
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I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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