white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize