In the future we'll all be gay
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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