Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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