I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
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He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
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I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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